"Meathead meets a Meathead head to head"

Back to the ongoing fable of the Raleigh Meathead, our tale takes us back to February of last year...

After spending a lovely sunny day in an office, I couldn't wait to get some beer and sit out in the conservatory, spending the last hours of daylight taking the Raleigh to pieces. 
Walking the bike home last night helped me come to terms with the fact that the frame I loved was decked out in some pretty manky components; the wheels were mismatched and way out of true, the fork suspension was stodgy, and the front disc brake caliper didn't seem to want to grip the disc, no matter how much I pulled at the cable (I'm new to disc brakes and susp. forks by the way, but that was a good reason to get this bike). 

All a bit mingin'

Also the fact that the seatpost was well and truly stuck inside the seat tube was slowly eating away at the dreams I had had for this cruiser. 

Come out of there, you!

 There were a few OK parts on it though, that could be squirelled away in the box marked "Shit I don't need, but can't bring myself to throw away or sell Spares". A Shimano rear derailleur with hyuge jockey wheels, an OK looking front derraileur, and a 7 speed freewheel that looked hardly used.

Bonus Shimano drivetrain stuff in not bad nick

A quick and awkward tumble around the garden told me that yes, the wheels were definitely screwed, and no, the brakes did not work. And so, to tearing it to pieces.

Tub o' junk

 So with everything off the frame except the headset, I set to work on how I was going to remove the seatpost. The internet was full of suggestions for people in similar situations, but none were helpful given the tools I had to hand (basically I didn't have a blowtorch/heat gun to warm the frame up, and I had no idea what Plusgas was).

So ingenuity it was!! Couldn't let a degree in Product Design go to waste; I had to start thinking laterally. 

My inspiration

Uh oh! A stuck seatpost! A really stuck seatpost. We can't pull it out from the top, we can't heat up the sides and slide it out... We'll have to twat it with a hammer!!

The hole in the bottom bracket shell, leading to the seat tube

Through the hole in the bottom bracket shell, I figured I could take a long flathead screwdriver and a mallet, and gently tap the seatpost out from the bottom. 
Starting out was awkward, but eventually after intermittently measuring the distance from the top of the seat tube to the seat post, I realised it was working; the seatpost was coming out.

This picture now makes me wince...

IT'S WORKING! I'M A GENIUS!! AN INGENIUS GENIUS! I'M GONNA START A BLOG SO EVERYONE CAN SEE HOW SMART I AM AT FIXING BIKES!! BLOODY BRILLIANT!! FIRST THOUGH I'M GONNA EXCITEDLY TAKE THE FRAME OUT TO THE BACK GARDEN, LAY IT ON THE GRASS AND GIVE IT A RIGHT THUMP WITH THE MALLET TO HURRY THIS UP!! YAAAAAAY.

Now back to the start of this post, where I described how I went to get beer to aid me in the dismantling process... 
I wasn't drunk, but I do think a couple of beers may have robbed me of a bit of foresight when it came to this enthusiastic decision.  Slow and steady wins the race? Shut your face! It's late and I want to go to bloody bed!

Anyway as you may have guessed, thumping a screwdriver into an aluminium bike frame is exactly as stupid as it sounds, and lo, the screwdriver went through the frame.

"Blimey, this just got a bit difficult! The seatpost must be at a sticking point; I should hit it even harder!" - Gom

So now I have a rectangular hole, about 7mm across, in the seat tube of my frame. 
Structurally, I've no idea how bad this is. It looks bloody awful, and I'm assuming the bottom bracket shell is one of the biggest stress points on the frame; there's a pretty solid chance that I'll stand up on the pedals or go off a curb, and the whole frame will tear open like a tin can. 

Ah well though, live and learn (and curse and spit and froth at the mouth at my own stupidity a year on). I've decided to carry on building the cruiser bike that's in my head, and then ride the absolute shit out of it, hopefully to determine whether it's going to hold. 
The way this bike's going to be used (as said cruiser, with a very laid back position), I don't expect it to take a beating down a trail or whatnot, but I have to be sure.  
If it doesn't hold, I'll have to scrap the frame, but at least I'll have all the other parts, ready to go again. 
I'll probably have to consult some forums, but I'm also toying with the idea of drilling a hole slightly bigger than the rectangular hole that's there now (hear me out!). Hopefully a circular hole will mean the aluminium is less likely to tear open, as it could from the rectangle's corners; as far as I can tell, I think this is standard procedure for stress fractures in alu frames; drilling holes at the ends of the fractures to "nip it in the bud" as it were so the tear doesn't spread.
If anyone reading this has had any experience with something similar, I'd love your input on what to do now; I fear the overall call is "Sean, the frame cost you £6. Stop being an emotional tit and sling it.", but I just find the frame shape a bit too perfect for what I want to just throw it away and start back hunting on ebay. 

Oh, and by the way, I got the seatpost out. Every cloud and that...

So theoretically, my method was successful. Theoretically...